Forget Joseph!!…. April 23, 2010

I have the most technicoloured legs out!!  The surgeon drew on my legs with Vivid, just to make sure he had the right veins, and I joked with him that I’d better not let Lachy see them or he’d start drawing on them too!!  lol  That was Tuesday, tonight, Friday, well!!  I’m impressive to say the least!!

Soooooo looking forward to the finished product

So as to Damian’s question, what would I have done differently, I like Joy, would’ve asked for help, and much sooner, I would’ve listened when the advice was given and acted on it.  I would forgive more and let more things go.  I’d move more love more and hate less.  I’d start to treat myself the way I deserve to be treated as a woman who is worthy of love, who has an opinion that matters, who is worth being around and listening to.

I had a good friend tell me last night that I’m much ‘softer’ now, I’m not protecting myself so much anymore.  I’m trusting more, and trusting myself to say what I want and what I need.  I’m also learning to look to myself for the answers, to be my own expert, rather than finding a “big person’ in my life to slavishly follow.

I no longer seek approval, well not as MUCH!!  lol  It’s still nice to know that you are appreciated and loved    I really appreciate the comments you ladies (and the odd guy) have left on here for me, I appreciate the support and encouragement, it means a lot to me

I’m feelin the love

Bex in compression tights tonight (and on the way to smaller jeans!)

New legs tomorrow… April 19, 2010

I’m off to Hospital to have my legs “Done” tomorrow, bit nervous really.  I’ve not been feeling the greatest in the leg department for the last few months.  They’ve not actually hurt until recently (the varicose veins) But that’s all going to change

I’ll have to walk for at least 30 mins a day over and above my normal walking around the house so I’m told.  Recovery is about 10 days, Steve’s taking the rest of the week off to help out at home.

We went off to Wellington last week to see Dad again, the cancer is progressing at an alarming rate, he doesn’t think he’ll last another month.  We discussed his wishes, and he told me about the arrangements he’s made.  Although it was a fraught and sad time I was eerily calm and nowhere near as emotionally fragile as I had expected to be.  I didn’t get drunk ( did eat lots though) and sadly I didn’t do much excercise either.

So, Now I’m on Broadband I’m going to be able to listen in to the calls   Yay!!!! (not tomorrow’s one though but that’s the Power of Food Seminar & I’ve been to 3 of them )now the operation will be over there’s nothing stopping me relaunching myself!!

Time to start again from scratch, cut out the things that I’ve added in to my eating as I’ve sadly got the taste for chocolate again ( not even the 80% cocoa stuff, the unhealthy stuff ) One small victory for me and my taste buds is that I’ve kicked the coke habit… lol  the COKE cola habit!  lol

I’ve downloaded the calls I missed with being on Dialup when the format for the webcasts changed, and I’m planning to take my iPOD with me tomorrow and listen to them in hospital

I’m missing my routine of excercise and missing how great I felt about myself, I’ve put on weight and some of my jeans no longer fit me!!  EKKKKK Time to shift arse again!!  I can see how the foods that I’ve started to add in are affecting me, I have black/purple bags under my eyes again and my skin is breaking out.  All signs I’m abusing my temple!!  Time to clear it out and get it pure again!

Watch this space for a better report next time

Bex

It’s heeeeeerrrrreeeeeeeeeee!!!! April 8, 2010

Yay finally got Broadband, too long a wait.  I’ve been holding off blogging because I got the taste of broadband in Auckland and was getting just toooooooooo frustrated with how slow my dialup was doing this.  I don’t know how I did it to start off with!!

Ok, so what’s happening, I’ve dialled in to all the calls since I decided I was going to do that.. check

Sent  watch away to be fixed, needed a new transponder(?)… check, paid for watch… ah NO!!   I was told it was going to be ONLY $65 to get it fixed, then got a call saying that they’d forgotten to add GST and their handling fee on to the cost, so it’s now going to cost us $87… so it’s still sitting on the shelf at the shop.

My Dad came to visit us again 2 weeks ago and in the 3 weeks since I’d last seen him he’s lost another 5kg due to the cancer.  He’s not looking well and has absolutely no energy anymore.  So we’re off to Wellington for a week to spend some time with him again. I went slightly bonkers when I saw Dad, totally in a tailspin, couldn’t seem to function, ate crappy food and piled on MORE weight.  I emailed Damian and Phyllis for help, which they are.  I also reached out to some special friend and they’re helping keep me in check.  For 3 days I existed in a fog, washing was done and meals made but the washing wasn’t folded not pots washed, it was all I could do to just BE.

Dad won’t last till Christmas now, that’s plain to see and that fact rocked my world.  I’d been planning to get myself nice and strong and not go crazy with the food as comfort thing, but oh boy did that go out the window. 

So what now? Well we’re off to Wellington on Monday so I’m missing the next call, then when we get back I’m off to hospital for my leg op.  So 2 weeks of no calls, BUT and it’s a great BUT… I got broadband now so i can download the calls in an instant instead of 50 minutes!!  So I’ll be listening in on my iPOD

I’m taking my gym gear to Wellington so i can haul my carcass out on the beach too

The Queen of the Blog is back Bay-bee!!!!!

Bex